Thursday, December 31, 2015
Monday, December 31, 2012
new year
took the path less taken
walked with what deemed friends, later forsaken
and for months, nearly broken
But still, with dawn hope still awaken
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A new year to all
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Countdown till Residency day 1: 01.01.13
Monday, November 7, 2011
Walking
So as he tries to drown his sorrow with romantic films and sweet promises of love everlasting, his consciousness spoke to him.
"When will you wake o' deadman walking?
When will you walk again and pretend that everything is dead and for the crow's taking?
When will you take a bite from the flesh that was quivering?"
Still the man, kept on looking through the glass screen of moving pictures and allusions of happiness that was supposedly there for the taking. His consciousness spoke to him again:
"O' deadman walking, when will you see that humanity has forsaken you;
That what was yours was taken?
That your sins not forgiven?
When will you realize o' deadman walking that only in death your purposed was quickened?
Still the man, gazed, with tears flowing in his eyes, his hand slowly rises to his chest and then he answered.
"I often thought of myself as a deadman walking
Till I realized that pain was there as my heart was beating
And for the time that there was only crying
I found myself lost and longing
Maybe I AM a deadman walking, long forsaken
But still with this world I could not leave those who were broken
For those who are left as rag dolls know the feeling of loneliness
And often they are the ones capable of kindness
And so his consciousness left him in his wanton sorrow, knowing that somehow, this man is not a deadman walking.
"When will you wake o' deadman walking?
When will you walk again and pretend that everything is dead and for the crow's taking?
When will you take a bite from the flesh that was quivering?"
Still the man, kept on looking through the glass screen of moving pictures and allusions of happiness that was supposedly there for the taking. His consciousness spoke to him again:
"O' deadman walking, when will you see that humanity has forsaken you;
That what was yours was taken?
That your sins not forgiven?
When will you realize o' deadman walking that only in death your purposed was quickened?
Still the man, gazed, with tears flowing in his eyes, his hand slowly rises to his chest and then he answered.
"I often thought of myself as a deadman walking
Till I realized that pain was there as my heart was beating
And for the time that there was only crying
I found myself lost and longing
Maybe I AM a deadman walking, long forsaken
But still with this world I could not leave those who were broken
For those who are left as rag dolls know the feeling of loneliness
And often they are the ones capable of kindness
And so his consciousness left him in his wanton sorrow, knowing that somehow, this man is not a deadman walking.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Patay sindi
Kapitolo 1: Patay sinding Ilaw
Mga patay sinding bituin.... Bituin binubuhay ng milyong milyong mga partikulo ng hangin na pinapagalaw ng kuryente na ummikot sa isang silindrikong tubo ng salamin. Patay sindi sila, sa binabaybay kong kalsada ng magulong gubat na tawagin nila ay Quezon City.
Patay sinding mga artipisyal na bituin. Ito pa rin ang nakikita ko sa kalsada kong binabaybay. At sa sinag ng mga bituing ito, nakikita ang kabataan na natutulog, nangangalakal sa kalsada. Mga batang tulad ng bituing patay sindi, dahan dahang nawawala ang pag asang kuminang ng mas maliwanag. At ang tanging matitira na lamang ay ang kadiliman at pagtapon ng lipunan sa isang madilim na tabi...
Patay sinding mga bituin... Tuloy pa rin ang pagbaybay ko sa kalsadang patay sindi ang liwanag... Ngunit sa ilalim nito ay di mga bata, kung di mga kababaihan na pinupuhuanan ang kanilang kabataan para kumita ng pera. Inaalok ang kanilang kagandahan, kabataan para sa katas na nagpapatakbo ng mundo: pera. At ang kabataan at kagandahan ay parang isang kisap matang nawawala sa ilalim ng mga patay sinding ilaw. Tila ba ilusyon na dala ng liwanag at dilim, na mabilis nagpapalit bawat pintig ng ilaw.
At sa pag dating ko sa aking lumang kwarto, na tuloy ang liwanag. Nakikita ko ang kinabukasan na sanay makamit ng lahat ng tao, maliwanag, tuloy tuloy... Pero, naisip ko na tila bang nasa isang imitasyong liwanag lamang ako, kung saan kulang pa din ang liwanag, kulang ang maabot para maikalat sa iba; at limitado ang lugar kong ginagalawan.
At pag higa ko, naisip ko ang bukas, ang unang patak ng higanteng bituin na umiilaw sa buong kalangitan. At bukas, may liwanag pala na magpapakita ng kalangitan at ang kalayaan na dala nito.
Mga patay sinding bituin.... Bituin binubuhay ng milyong milyong mga partikulo ng hangin na pinapagalaw ng kuryente na ummikot sa isang silindrikong tubo ng salamin. Patay sindi sila, sa binabaybay kong kalsada ng magulong gubat na tawagin nila ay Quezon City.
Patay sinding mga artipisyal na bituin. Ito pa rin ang nakikita ko sa kalsada kong binabaybay. At sa sinag ng mga bituing ito, nakikita ang kabataan na natutulog, nangangalakal sa kalsada. Mga batang tulad ng bituing patay sindi, dahan dahang nawawala ang pag asang kuminang ng mas maliwanag. At ang tanging matitira na lamang ay ang kadiliman at pagtapon ng lipunan sa isang madilim na tabi...
Patay sinding mga bituin... Tuloy pa rin ang pagbaybay ko sa kalsadang patay sindi ang liwanag... Ngunit sa ilalim nito ay di mga bata, kung di mga kababaihan na pinupuhuanan ang kanilang kabataan para kumita ng pera. Inaalok ang kanilang kagandahan, kabataan para sa katas na nagpapatakbo ng mundo: pera. At ang kabataan at kagandahan ay parang isang kisap matang nawawala sa ilalim ng mga patay sinding ilaw. Tila ba ilusyon na dala ng liwanag at dilim, na mabilis nagpapalit bawat pintig ng ilaw.
At sa pag dating ko sa aking lumang kwarto, na tuloy ang liwanag. Nakikita ko ang kinabukasan na sanay makamit ng lahat ng tao, maliwanag, tuloy tuloy... Pero, naisip ko na tila bang nasa isang imitasyong liwanag lamang ako, kung saan kulang pa din ang liwanag, kulang ang maabot para maikalat sa iba; at limitado ang lugar kong ginagalawan.
At pag higa ko, naisip ko ang bukas, ang unang patak ng higanteng bituin na umiilaw sa buong kalangitan. At bukas, may liwanag pala na magpapakita ng kalangitan at ang kalayaan na dala nito.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
May mga araw na...
You just sit back and try to be happy for the people around you because, somehow, someway they found a piece of their happiness. Whatever it may be, or whoever that brings it in. So I just sit back, try to be happy for them, eitherway, I'm sad, lonely and in pain. Realizing that medicine would be the only thing that is left for me.
Sometimes, I ask myself, when I go home from the wards or the library, that I am afraid that I'll spend my life in the hospital. Just the hospital and that it would become my wife, my home, my everything since there is nothing else. So I ask myself "Is it really worth it?" My usual answer is yes it is. But growing old alone, bitter and sad, makes me think otherwise. But heck it is medicine we are talking about. Takes up your time, passion, and life sometimes
So I just sit back and relax a bit.
Sometimes, I ask myself, when I go home from the wards or the library, that I am afraid that I'll spend my life in the hospital. Just the hospital and that it would become my wife, my home, my everything since there is nothing else. So I ask myself "Is it really worth it?" My usual answer is yes it is. But growing old alone, bitter and sad, makes me think otherwise. But heck it is medicine we are talking about. Takes up your time, passion, and life sometimes
So I just sit back and relax a bit.
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